“What would you do if I said ‘no?'”

You ask it innocently, with childlike curiosity. I wonder if it is the drink–your second–that has made you bold.

I smile. “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. What if I said ‘no’ and refused to do what you wanted? What…what would you do?”

“Girl, you’re talking about defiance, right? Not using the safe word–you know that will always work. And not being meek and submissive, asking me please not to do something, not today: you know I’ll respond to that, if you’re submissive enough. You’re talking about defiance, about testing me.”

You pause, and take another sip of your drink, and then nod. You aren’t quite as confident now, aren’t sure if you’ve already crossed some boundary. But you haven’t; we’re in public, sitting in an out-of-town bar, just talking.

I reach across the table and brush my fingers against your cheek, then put them under your chin and gently tip your face up so you’re looking at me. “My dear little girl, I’ve thought about this.” I smile, looking into your eyes. “I wouldn’t hurt you–I’ll never do that. But it would be awful: fast, sudden, and, yes, painful. And you’d be sorry, after, that you were a bad girl. But you don’t really want me to tell you about it, do you?”

You take another sip of your drink, a little nervously, and then nod, once, quickly.

“Yes? You really want to know? Okay, dear girl.”

I reach across the table again and take your wrist in my hand and hold you, tightly. I lean toward you, looking into your eyes.

“I’ll tell you what will happen if you test me that way.”

(continued, tonight)