Kitten,

Here are a few more thoughts on the topic of your submission, in response to your comments.

Yes, your happiness matters, however much I talk of it being all about what pleases me. As we discussed earlier, the dominance and submission (I like even typing that word, “submission.”) is a dimension of the relationship, but not the whole thing. The physical sexual aspect is critical, as is the emotion–the love.

I enjoy telling you what to do, but I really don’t want to tell you to bring me coffee, or to do any mundane thing. I want to command you in the context of sex and intimacy. I want to tell you to give your body to me in a variety of ways, to prepare it for me, to present it to me, to surrender it to me. My desire to command is profoundly sexual, though it will spill over into other domains on occasion.

Similarly, your pleasure is crucial. We both know that you can refuse to obey. Submission is a choice you’re making, and there would be no pleasure in it for me if I forced you to submit to me. I’m sure there are some who enjoy actually overpowering and forcing women, but I don’t: I want your willing submission. I want to receive from you the trust and respect that’s implied when you willingly put yourself under my control. And, because your willing submission is critical to me, I don’t want to ask of you things that you really don’t want to do. Rather, I want you to be rewarded for your submission, even if it’s sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes even painful.

If I didn’t know that you enjoy the pain and discomfort, I wouldn’t ask it of you. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t enjoy your submission as much. I don’t want to cause you pain and discomfort because I know you enjoy it. Rather, I want to cause you pain and discomfort, and, as I said earlier, the fact that you enjoy it makes you wonderfully right for me–makes what we do together so good.

Behind it all, Kitten, is love, real and deep affection. I’m sure many people would find that confusing. They’d have a hard time seeing the protectiveness I feel as I comfort you after having been rough with you, after having thrust too hard into your throat, or spanked you so much that it brought tears to your eyes. They wouldn’t understand the satisfaction, the sense of accomplishment, you feel when I’ve tied you up and fucked you so hard that you couldn’t breathe, that you wanted to cry out and ask me to slow down–but instead you endured it and got through it.

When I come deep in you, when you feel crushed under me and too filled by my cock deep inside you, when it all seems too much, but you know that you only have to last a little longer and you’ll be okay–I know that you feel proud, afterwards, for having given me everything I wanted. Proud, just as I’m proud and pleased with you.

Yes, I love you, and I wouldn’t want to do these things to you if I didn’t. I wouldn’t want to push you to your limits, then pull you close and make you feel better. I wouldn’t want to make you come again and again, with my cock deep inside your throat, your pussy, or your ass, and then wrap you in my arms and let you rest against me. My love for you is my license to demand so much of you. Your love for me is what makes it acceptable to give me all I want.

We both understand it, even though it does seem hard to explain.

Love,
Your Querido